Why is unexpectedness your ally?
We think our life is completely planned and linear because we can predict some things in our daily life and, therefore, we think we control them. An example of that can be when you say to someone what you‘re going to do during your day today. “Well, I’m going to wake up, brush my teeth, go to work then have some food and go to sleep”. Great. And if your day goes exactly like that today, tomorrow, and the day after that, we understand as if we can predict and control every situation of our life because, of course, the individuals make their own life.
Fun fact: individuals don’t make their own life. (don’t know if it’s that funny though…)
We pretend that life is this linear thing that goes from point A to B and if we do everything as it’s written in the “rules of life”, we can get everything we want because it gives us peace of mind and comfort at the end of the day to say that we were in control of everything that happened to us. But, the whole point is life is more unexpected and non-linear than we can actually understand. Do you remember that moment when your alarm didn’t ring and you had to do everything in a rush and you lost your transport to work and it was raining but because you didn’t have time to get your coat, so you got to your workplace soaking wet and then… anyway. It doesn’t need to be that dramatic. But, tell me: if that was a true scenario and you were really in control of everything that happens to you, why didn’t you go to work at the right time? Why did you forget to get your coat, when you do that every day?
It’s because, in the first place, we are part of a way bigger system than our own selves (since we are a system as well) called life, and saying that we are in total control of the things that happen is the same as saying that a grain of rice controls the whole rice industry. Of course, the grain of rice impacts the whole industry and vice-versa but when it comes to accurate predictability, it’s a false claim that gives us comfort.
So, how to best navigate in situations where we find ourselves embedded in a seeming catastrophic, confusing and incomprehensible? How to find the light when everything you see around you is darkness? How to grasp wisdom and understanding inside the chaos? The best way to go through all that is to make the unexpected your ally.
Ohh, great… Very well said. But how can I do such a thing? How can I understand what’s going on when the world seems like is pushing me to the cliff of life? So here you have 5 ideas that can be helpful for you to make “gold” out of your (apparently) “garbage” situation.
- Allow yourself to feel and express yourself.
Simply, just do it. Don’t hold anything back (p.s.: just don’t harm yourself and others around you). Do you feel like punching someone’s face? Get your best friend PILLOW (hope people don’t skip this very important part) and go-for-it! Feel like crying your heart out? Don’t hold anything back. Feel like you want to jump as high as a free and wild bird? Go to the closest park around you and express yourself. We need to honor and express our emotions because that’s what makes us move, that’s what gives us life and purpose. Emotions are there and suppressing it makes us sick, drained, and empty. So, if you feel it, express it.
2. Allow time to do its work
There are some moments that, all we need is just a bit of time. Time is wise and time heals so wait for a moment, take a deep breath, meditate. We rationalize things all the time and by doing that, we miss the bigger picture of things. We don’t know much about what’s really going on around us to taking a bit of time to just allow yourself to feel and to be can be a really wise and helpful decision in terms of better understanding the situation.
3. Journal
This is another type of expressing yourself. The first one was about putting out the energy that arose from a certain situation in its raw and rough form. Now, this type of expression is a more reflective and insightful one. When you journal, you make room for different voices and thoughts to come and, by doing so, you make them visible. By making it visible, you can now go back to it and start to ask questions, analyze and, maybe, understand things a bit better than before. “Why did I write that?” can be a very common phrase that you find yourself asking when you start journaling consistently but it’s really important to open space for deeper knowledge and, thus, eventual change.
4. Be around people that care about you and in who you can trust
During times of uncertainty and confusion, having people by your side is one of the best solutions to any problem. But not the “anyone goes” type of vibe but rather the “only a very few go” type of vibe. Find your tribe. Find people that you can relate to and that you feel safe in sharing the deepest parts of yourself. These are the people that can be there for you when situations start to go in very awkward directions and can be the light you need when you feel you are in darkness. They are going to help you feel heard, feel important, and will hold space for you to, simply, be. Make sure you never let them go.
5. Trust yourself and keep on moving forward.
Because you are alive, you are important and you have the power of manifestation. Manifestation is not controlling the situation or knowing 100% what’s gonna happen but rather an embodied trust, wisdom, and knowledge that you have deep in your cells and your soul. You can overcome the situation, you can win this battle and you can get the best outcome of this situation for your own personal (and societal) growth. So, no matter what, just keep moving.
