People learn as whole human beings — and not just their parts
Recently, I’ve been confronted with a question, a very recurring one to be truthful. Not necessarily a question from me but one that I’ve been hearing for a long time. This question takes many forms and shapes but it is essentially the following: “How to make think people and realize something they don’t realize now”. In other words, it is essentially a question that poses the following logic “Something is important to me and, therefore, I assume this is important for other people as well. So how do I make other people understand and accept what I am saying as something valuable?”. There are several problems and questions about this idea. I’ll try to unfold a couple of them:
1 — The first problem is that, first of all, individual A is assuming what is important for him should be important for other people as well. Without going too much in depth in this idea, I would say that:
A — It is fair enough that someone thinks that what it is important for them could be important for others as well (after all, that’s the basis of every conversation we have — we assume people want to hear something we want to share). However, there is a difference between how someone is approaching this situation: by trying to influence people to believe this initial idea or, simply, by having a conversation about your personal interest in this topic. I’m not going to expand myself here but this is, essentially, questioning the intentions behind what we want to communicate and, consequentially, perpetuate in the world.
B — Let’s consider that issue A is resolved and we understand the person has good, genuine intentions to demonstrate something to someone else. Now, the problem is: how are you going to do that? How are you going to “make someone understand what you are talking about” (not persuade them)? I like to think about this as “giving a good experience for people to spend this time with you”. You are demonstrating something you care about, something you love or something you are interested in to someone else. Let’s think of this situation as a host showing her house to you. You can do that in several ways, and that will be one component (a very important one) to create an experience for the guest.
You can simply list all the features your house has. No house tour, no historic-building story, nothing. You simply stand by the front door with your guest and list all the amazing features this house has. How is your audience is going to experience this house? I don’t know about you but I would try my best to not yawn during this speech… In this scenario, the house must be great but I’m receiving a very tiny fraction of the whole true value the house could actually offer me.
Second scenario: bring your guests inside the house but you are very brief and dry. You don’t offer “coffee or water” to them, you don’t welcome them properly, you just do what you are supposed to do: give the house tour. No enthusiasm, no energy, nothing. You go, deliver, and leave. Not you tell me what the guests are going to experience from being in this house.
Now, ladies and gentlemen, in this third scenario, you think of your guests as royal individuals (not in the real royal sense as we know), you pay them respect, you embody them into the history of the house. You show them the flavors of your finest seasonings. You invite them to smell the aromas of the wooden chairs. You rub their hands against the smoothest curtain’s silk there is. But more than just showing them around, you hear from them. You listen to their cues, you pay attention to their sights and breaths. You see them smiling or frowning in synchrony with your words and rhythmic explanation. Essentially, you bring all their senses to life you hear what they have to say beyond their words and you adapt accordingly. Because you understand that, as humans, we are more than just a passive, decoding machine: we are alive and every encounter we have with someone else is an invitation to a journey into a whole new world of possibilities. Knowing that, you buckle up and enjoy the ride.
And that’s how we learn. It’s not just by reading books (even though it is essential); it’s not just by observing something passively (even though it is important); it’s not just by explaining something to someone (even though it is crucial). We learn by being meshed up with the experience itself, with our whole body, through time, in different flavors and textures. If we want to create new experiences for people to learn, we should first invite them to experience a rich space and navigate in it with them: exploring and sharing, together.
